Defense Ukrainian enterprise “UkrPromMilTech-Defense,” Wednesday morning, extended meeting.
RnD: Here it is! We developed it! (places a massive contraption on the table).
Marketing (suspiciously): What the hell is that?
RnD: It’s a contraption that’s very much needed at the front! It’s called the “AI Excavator Drone”!
Marketing (suspiciously): Who told you it’s needed? Did you watch Cloude videos again?
RnD (offended): Oh, it was just once, now we have to remember it every morning…
Director (interrupts): Umm… Why does it have wings?
RnD: Because it flies.
Director: Then why does it have wheels?
RnD: Because it drives.
Director: And what’s this?
RnD: Combat component.
Marketing: Why a combat component on a trench digger?
RnD: In case of an enemy. And then, boom. And a beautiful video from a Mavic.
Director (tinkers with the contraption): What’s this?
RnD: That’s the AI module.
Director: Why is there an AI module here?
RnD: Well, we can throw it out.
Marketing (excitedly): Wait, what “throw it out”? Let it stay!
RnD: Well, okay.
Director: Again, why is it here?
Marketing: Well, nothing sells in the military now unless the specs say “AI.”
Director: Ah, well, that’s a point. And what’s this?
RnD: That’s a shovel.
Marketing: Why?
RnD: Come on… The name “excavator drone” kind of suggests it, doesn’t it?
Production: We’re not making this!
RnD: Why?
Production: Because it’s… It’s a complete mess!
Finance: What’s the cost?
RnD: Well… about a million.
Finance: How much? Why so expensive?
RnD: But there’s AI!
Director: But it’s not doing anything!
RnD: But a working AI would cost even more!
Marketing: Good point.
Director: And if we remove the shovel, can we make it cheaper?
RnD: But…
Finance (unapologetically): We need to cut costs!
Marketing: Maybe we can remove the wings?
RnD (offended): Like hell! The wings are a competitive advantage!
Marketing: We thought the competitive advantage was the AI!
RnD: Well, yeah. But unlike the AI, the wings work.
Director: We probably need to start production. Otherwise, why do we have RnD at all?
Production (horrified): No! Please! Don’t! We beg you!
Finance (quietly): There’s no money.
Director (suspiciously): Where’s the money?
Finance: It was spent on the previous development project of these idiots (nods at RnD).
RnD (angry): But the “Enemy Locator Drone” was a very promising project!
Marketing: But nobody needed it!
RnD: That’s because the military doesn’t know how to use it!
Director: Ah. The same old song. Manufacturers say “the military doesn’t know how to use it,” and the military says “manufacturers are idiots.” It seems it hasn’t changed since the first club broke on the first mammoth…
RnD: Anyway, here it is. We developed it, now deal with it yourselves.
Director: Oh, wow… (drinks water, eats snacks).
Production: Can we go? We still have to assemble the Enemy Locators…
Marketing: Oh, man…
RnD: And we still have so many ideas!
Finance: Lucky we don’t have money for them.
Director: Go and work. Tomorrow, the meeting is at ten o’clock! And take your AI with you, I don’t want to see it!
